Wuss Horse and the Joy of Food

Discussion in 'Horse Chat' started by slc, Mar 14, 2018.

  1. slc

    slc Senior Member

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    Wuss Horse gets very, very excited about food.

    "Look, LOOK! They're COMING! They're walking down the sidewalk! WHHHEEEEE!" (gallop gallop gallop gallop)

    "Wheeeee!" (Crash)

    "Um....did you just crash into the wall?"

    "Well, yeah, but I was coming in for dinner!" (rearing, bucking) "Dinner dinner dinner! WHEEE!"

    "Yeah but don't you think you were going a little fast? After all you eat almost all the time."

    "No I don't! I'm STARVING!"

    "Look at that belly. It's a wonder you can jump around at all. You look like Jabba the Hut."

    "NOPE!" (rearing, bucking) "AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Dinner dinner dinner!"

    "Well I'm about to come in there and feed you but I'm not going to if you act like that."

    "Act like what?"

    "Weren't you just...?"

    "Weren't I just what? I ain't doin' nuthin'. I'm a little angel."
     
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  2. slc

    slc Senior Member

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    Oh my god oh my god oh my god. WUSS HORSE ATE A BANANA!

    "What do you have?"

    "A banana."

    "I want some."

    "No you don't."

    "Yes I do."

    "You hate bananas."

    "No I don't."

    "If I give it to you, you'll spit it out."

    "I WILL NOT!"

    "Yeeeeees, you ALWAYS spit out bananas. You beg me for one, I give you some and you spit it out!"

    "I WILL NOT!"

    "Alright, here. Look at me. I'm eating the banana."

    "GIVE IT TO ME!"

    "No, you'll spit it out...look...I'll give you a piece of apple..." (nom nom nom) "okay, another piece of apple..." (nom nom nom) "annnnnd...here's the banana."

    (nom nom nom)

    "YOU ATE IT! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!"

    "I love bananas."

    "I can't believe it!"
     
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  3. slc

    slc Senior Member

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    "WUSS HORSE...NOOOO!!!!!!!"

    "I think I look cute with this bucket on my head. It affords a comfortable fit and..."

    "TAKE THAT OFF!!!"

    "I...um...I can't."

    "OH <expletive>, I can't get it off!"

    "You really have to."

    "Well I know but I can't get it off of your gigantic head!'

    "GIGANTIC HEAD?"

    "HOLD STILL <expletive expletive expletive>! You've got the bail behind your ears! How in the ....What were you doing???"

    "I was trying to get the last little crumb out of my bucket...I started strikng it (that usually helps) while I had my head down in it, and the thing holding it gave way, I guess....."

    "It would help if you put your HEAD DOWN!"

    "Oh I remember those lessons. Those were interesting. But at this point in time, I have neither the desire, nor the ability."
     
    Last edited: Mar 15, 2018
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  4. slc

    slc Senior Member

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    "WUSS HORSE! How did you get that bucket down so fast???"

    "Shall I explain the physics to you?"

    "YES WOULD YOU?"

    "You see, you threaded its tether between the boards, in an effort to have me lift it up and swing it less. Yes?"

    "Well yes..."

    "Well verily, I don't care for that."
     
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  5. slc

    slc Senior Member

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    "Hey!"

    "What are you doing in your paddock? Didn't daddy feed you?"

    "Well, yeah, but something is wrong. So...I can't eat."

    "What's wrong?"

    "My water."

    "Oh sorry, are you out of water?"

    "Nooooo.....The bucket is full...."

    "What is it then?"

    "IT'S COLD!"
     
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  6. ginster

    ginster Senior Member

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    Life's tough for Wuss Horse..
     

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