Wow-Dressage

Discussion in 'Horse Chat' started by LoveTrail, Jan 23, 2018.

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  1. mooselady

    mooselady Senior Member

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    Again, think about the logic, if a couple of people read it wrong, maybe them, if the majority are reading it wrong, you need to look at your delivery.
     
  2. Arem

    Arem Senior Member

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    I highly doubt we’re reading it wrong. Classic narcassism is deflection like that. It’s designed to make the person who is calling the narcassist out on their crap doubt themselves, think they’re crazy, etc. Its a means of control and a way to lord superiority over their mark.
     
  3. ChestersMomma

    ChestersMomma Senior Moderator Staff Member

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    Had to have a "critical conversation" with someone at work about this not too long ago. If you are coming across as angry/mad/frustrated/unapproachable to a majority of the people you are interacting with, you need to change something. It does not matter if that is not your intention. Interesting that there is a phrase like that in German.

    The Internet is even more straightforward in a way because there are no tone/physical/inflection cues. We have only the words there to go by. What you are writing is CLEARLY not communicating your meaning if half your posts are starting with "That's not what I said/meant".
     
  4. Garfield70

    Garfield70 Senior Member

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    Exactly. She can't even do a medium trot or transitions correctly (the horse somehow tries to do it anyway, because it knows the job by heart). She even has problems riding the walk correctly, pumping with her upper body as if drunk.

    A beginner at upper level surely has no problems doing correct transitions and extension/collection, while being able to sit the whole thing properly.
     
  5. ginster

    ginster Senior Member

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    Mmmh. I would go over what I wrote to make sure the intended meaning came across.
    Do you know how often I rewrite, rephrase my posts because I cannot think of the right english word to use? It isn't always easy to have a written conversation in a language that's not your own.
    You can betcha heinie I try to make extra sure my meaning is clear.
    And if someone "accuses" me of anything bacause of a post, I again try to set it right.

    Again - if several people take your posts meaning not as you intended them, chances are pretty big that it's the way you phrased them.
    I am not one of the posters who contradict as a basically knee-jerk reaction. You should know that.
    I try to take everyone's post neutrally. Not agreeing/liking or disagreeing based on if I like the poster.
    There is only one sometime member whose posts I read with a negative inclination, knowing I will disagree wholeheartedly even before I finish. He is fortunately not around right now...
     
  6. ChestersMomma

    ChestersMomma Senior Moderator Staff Member

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    English is my first language and I often do the same! As someone who uses email a LOT (too much ugh) at work, I always re-read what i wrote for two reasons. 1- I hate spelling or grammatical errors. 2- So often when I am thinking and typing, I'm hearing myself as if I were speaking in my head. Not sure if I'm explaining that quite right but the point is that many times when I re-read, I realize a sentence or phrase sounds harsher than it would were it to be spoken or perhaps, I catch an idea that I did not communicate properly. ;)
     
    bsaz, ginster and kodemiester like this.
  7. slc

    slc Senior Member

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    So clever, mooselady, in other things as well.
     
  8. slc

    slc Senior Member

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    Sometimes when 'several people take it the wrong way', they're all wrong.

    It is still wrong to attack someone and accuse them of believing something ridiculous that they never even came close to even discussing. It's wrong. It isn't about how it's 'worded' or what YOU DECIDED was 'implied', it's about what is said or not said.

    Several of you DECIDING you can read my mind, and then insisting that I believe something after I've said 10 times I don't, that's wrong.

    TELLING SOMEONE THEY BELIEVE A, B and C is wrong. Especially after they have said so many times they do not believe that.

    No, I'm not going to say Browning is a succubus who must be salted and burned in hades. That's for other women to indulge in that cattiness, if it makes them feel so good. I'd rather focus on solutions.


    For example, discussing HOW people get overwhelmed with an upper level horse, HOW they wind up overmounted, does not condone bad riding at Delmar.

    Showing sympathy -- TO OTHERS (I've known some very nice people who have gotten dragged into being over mounted), who have been overmounted, does not condone bad riding at Delmar.

    Discussing how tough it is to go up the levels does not condone bad riding at Delmar. Discussing how hard it is to ride a big moving horse, also does not condone bad riding at Delmar.

    My comments, my lack of angry tone, are because my thoughts are chiefly directed toward my friends and people I've known who have struggled to ride horses they're overmounted on. I think first of them.

    No, their hands weren't perfectly still, and no, their legs weren't welded to their horse's sides. Some were not exactly slim, and didn't look perfectly svelte or elegant on their horses.

    They weren't perfect, but most of them didn't go around jabbing and yanking and having hissy fits, especially not at shows.

    And in fact, their horses didn't seem to be bothered at all by their lack of skill. I think horses realize when someone is just yanking and jabbing out of temper. I don't know how they know, but I think they do.


    I don't think much of Shelly Browning. I am not happy with what she has done, on many levels - how it affects the sport, the garbage that gets slung at me by people of other divisions because I'm a dressage rider and somehow now I'm responsible for the Shelley Brownings of the world because I refuse to agree that all dressage riders AREN'T Shelley Browning. I don't like the disrespect of the judges, the horse OR the sport.

    And we have people like her around here, too. For years, they hid behind a general ignorance about how the upper levels should look, when anyone in a top hat was worshipped by...many people. I had to listen to endless bull about how great they were. They sucked. They always sucked. They didn't get better, either.

    I was happy when the committees finally insisted we need to get the really bad upper level riders out of the shows, but I didn't think their plan would work, and I thought it would hurt lower level riders that didn't have the megabucks. I'm still working on a solution...and actually, I think I have an idea. It's not perfect, but it could help.

    I don't suppose any of you want to hear it? No? Not surprised.

    Oh....and most of all - saying that one is a 'beginner' at each new level or more challenging horse, is not condoning bad riding at Delmar.

    To insist that I believe all sorts of things, after I have stated many, many times that I do not, that's not right.
     
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2018
  9. slc

    slc Senior Member

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    mmmmm I already did. And I ead back, and what I found was people repeatedly accusing me of believing the SAME things - all sorts of idiotic things, that no person with a brain would think - and things that I already, repeatedly, specifically said, I do not believe.

     
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