Wedding Invite Etiquette - NEED YOUR THOUGHTS

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by TallOak10, Jan 11, 2018.

  1. CJ

    CJ Senior Member

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    Neither of my sisters invited anyone they didnt absolutely Want there.
    #2 can also be Finances driven, theres often just not enough money to Invite Everyone, especially to a reception.
    As for coattail invitations, A requires B/C to come too, I think Id look at someone proposing that and say "No, I dont."
     
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  2. mooselady

    mooselady Senior Member

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    Destination wedding, just the two of you, party when you get back.
     
  3. StarPattern

    StarPattern Senior Member

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    I'll be getting into this issue soon when my fiance and I start planning. My idea is to give each side of the family X number of spots on the guest list. If we only want 150 people there, fiance and I will make our list first and split the remainder between the two sides. Having a hard number means people are more selective about who they want there.

    That said, we're also considering the option of having a smaller wedding and just having a second reception in Fiance's home town in case his family can't make it across Canada for the actual wedding. Everyone just wants a party anyway and only the immediate family and close friends truly care about seeing the ceremony.
     
  4. equinitis

    equinitis Senior Member

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    I invited the folks we wanted at our wedding and not one more person. Anyone who gets their tail over the dashboard about not being invited has obviously missed the "friend" boat already.
    Family is important and getting along with the in-laws certainly helps lessen marital strife but ultimately the wedding and marriage are between you and your partner. Start now with ignoring the larger world for the benefit of each other. The rest will sort itself out without you!
     
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  5. cschattner

    cschattner Senior Member

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    If I ever do get married (unlikely), I intend to lean closer to #2.
    If they try pulling the "if x isn't invited then I am not going." Crap then I look at it as less money I have to spend and 1 less person to whine at the wedding.

    Of course there are those on the fence members. Like my dad's gf, my mother, some cousins that are huge anti gay/religious pains. So I will most likely have a VERY VERY small wedding.
     
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  6. NaeNae

    NaeNae Senior Member

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    Don't have much to add for the current situation but this is our plan! We both are so sick over the thought of how much money weddings cost these days, I feel no need to have any of the stereotypical wedding events (except photos) so our plan is to elope and have a big BBQ when we get home.

    We are planning on going to New Zealand for a vacation in the next 1-2 years and have added that to the list of things to do while there, get hitched. I have a feeling it will upset some of his side of the family, mine won't really care, I don't think, but really both of us are firm enough in ourselves that we can tell family to just be happy for us and come to a BBQ when we are home.

    I'd much prefer an intimate, private ceremony for just the two of us to cherish, anyways. Then maybe if we felt we missed out, do a vow renewal down the road.
     
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  7. Bakkir

    Bakkir Senior Member

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    I did immediate family and a few friends. Yes some of my family was put out. But I had a very small wedding with only 50 guests.

    Since this is a second wedding, I would keep it small.
     
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  8. wpgrider

    wpgrider Senior Member

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    we ended up with Option 3 as the parents were amazing with helping for the wedding. Honestly there was no one I regretted having there and the people we didn't really know declined. Having it as an out of town (not a destination, but about an hour outside of the city) probably helped. there was no way we could invite ALL the kids though, so I addressed them to the adults and if they had to bring the kids (eg from another province) of course they were welcome.
     
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  9. uncanny580

    uncanny580 Senior Member

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    This is also what we did.
    No regrets. No debts. All the fun.

    But also we are younger and both of our's first marriages so that might make it slightly different.
     
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  10. joce

    joce Senior Member

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    We did very small backyard wedding for no money and invited only immediate family. Had maybe 15 chairs? Then a month later we had a big reception and invited everyone but did it at a place that could hold a couple hundred and was only 300$. We catered but was not that bad. We did not supply alcohol. Don't break the bank to get married. If someone is upset about whatever decision you make that is on them! I figured the bigger reception covered everyone.
     
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