To Tree or Not to Tree..

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by CJ, Dec 20, 2017.

?

Do, Real tree, fake tree, or skip tree?

Poll closed Dec 25, 2017.
  1. Usual tree

    5 vote(s)
    31.3%
  2. Small tree

    8 vote(s)
    50.0%
  3. Fake tree

    2 vote(s)
    12.5%
  4. No tree

    1 vote(s)
    6.3%
  1. CJ

    CJ Senior Member

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    I feel like the Grinch contemplating happy Whoville from near his cave. This holiday season is turned all upside down and backwards. First of all mom passed away unexpectedly, and shes always been the cotter-pin in the October to December stretch, Halloween candy (candied apples originally), Thanksgiving dinner, and Christmas trimmings. Weve always done a Big tree, since the house has a 10ft cathedral ceiling. In recent years it scaled down to @8 ft, and wed tree shop together, or maybe apart and Id pick up her choice in the truck. My house has short ceilings so Ive picked/up my own tree. I skipped doing a tree once or twice and always regretted it after.
    Dad wasnt looking forward to the nuisance nuances of doing a tree (lights mostly, I think) but he did say he wouldnt be hurt or mad if one showed up, done, "care of the 'Christmas tree fairy'. "
    A couple days later he slipped on ice, hurt his leg, and wont be climbing steps soon let alone a ladder.
    There are no children in the house that are expecting Santa/ the 12/25 usual. A tree may be cheery enough to be worth the effort. My friends cant come help. 1 is Deathly allergic to the dog.
    I have a NIB 6 ft fake tree I bought last year on clearance for my house, after putting next to nothing on the live tree, just couldnt get In to it. (12/25 I tend to crash & burn still.)
    Mom always said NO to any suggestion of not doing a real tree. She loved the individuality, and didnt mind the effort, mess (needles) and loved the smell. We all did/ do. I dubbed them Monster Trees, due to the usual size. Her stance against a fake tree was basically "Over my dead body" ... well, if those are the terms for approval...
    So, Im Debating. Looked at real trees already. Brought the boxed tree to parents house, unopened as yet. Live tree? Fake tree? Grinch out and skip any tree work at all? *sounds kind of sad even to me.
    If parents house gets the fake tree put up (prelit, no lights 'hassle') then I have to get or decide if/on a small live tree for my house, and hope to be motivated enough to decorate it. Naked trees are only slightly better than no tree.
    Chime in please. Theres no wrong answer. I just cant decide on the right one.
    * Im leaning, but leaning often preceeds a messy crash.. :X3:
     
  2. bellalou

    bellalou Senior Member

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    I'm so sorry about the loss of your mom. I can really relate. My mom too was the heart and soul of the holidays and when she died, all of that died for me.

    But about 5 or 6 years ago, I realized that it was also the time of year I missed her most and I've begun keeping Christmas again. Nothing too overblown but I decorate, I listen to Christmas music, I put up a tree. I look at it as a way of keeping her with me.

    I'd do a small real tree in honor of your mom. Think of her when you look at it and smile. Or cry. Or both. That's what I do.
     
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  3. bobo and horses

    bobo and horses Senior Member

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    I vote to do a tree, and I would suggest a smaller, live tree. You have already suffered a loss, and looking at the empty tree spot will make matters worse. More missing.

    You may cry a few tears while trimming it, but try to remember the times you shared doing the job with your Mom. I believe it probably make you sad, initially, but in the long run it will cheer you all up. I’m really sorry for your loss, it is hard anytime of year, but these times at the hardest.
     
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  4. PyroTekNik333

    PyroTekNik333 Senior Member

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    It sounds it would mean a lot to your dad if you did a tree there. Idk if it would matter as much if it's live or not, how militant is dad about the fake tree debate? Lol

    As far as your own home, do what makes you happy! Helpful right?

    I go back and forth, some years I put one up, some I don't. My mom always gives me a hard time for not doing one but lets be real, I live alone, work 14hr days and don't have any kids or company planned so there's nobody to be missing a tree.
     
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  5. bobo and horses

    bobo and horses Senior Member

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    We went to Japan a few years ago to visit one of the kids, didn’t put up a tree because we left right after Thanksgiving and came back just before New Years. When we got home, no tree of course, but something was missing, even tho we always take it down the day after NewYears Day.
     
  6. AmyK

    AmyK Senior Member

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    I'm sorry about your mom. I think I'd be inclined to do whatever would help my dad the most, which sounds like someone "surprising" him with a tree, maybe a bit smaller and subdued. Can you get a small potted pine of some kind that could be planted outside in the spring in remembrance?
     
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  7. CJ

    CJ Senior Member

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    Sort of have that. Couple years ago, a neighbor got landscaping done and had a couple tall spruce saplings left over, that he gave away. Mom has been doing the one she got in blue leds and icicle lights. I made her a promise I would do it this year, and did. Which ironically made the neighbor feel better, because they can see it, and it hurt them to see it dark, not knowing it was going to get done. Its pretty, and was not fun exactly but a joy to do.
     
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  8. GotaDunQH

    GotaDunQH Senior Member

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    Here's what I think.....get a small real tree in a planter (they do have small varieties that don't grow real big), decorate in the house for the holiday, then plant it outside somewhere in the Spring in honor of your mom. I'm sorry you are having a hard time....it was rough the first Christmas without my Mom because she loved this time of year. Hugs to you CJ.
     
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  9. CJ

    CJ Senior Member

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    Makes sense (y)
    Our 'Record of Shame' for a standing tree was 1st of February :X3:
     
  10. CabterCrazy

    CabterCrazy Senior Member

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    When my mom died, I swore off holidays. That was 4 years ago, this year I said to hell with it and bought a fake tree. And it definitely helped get into the holiday spirit.

    Holidays will never be easy without your mom there, but it also will never get easier if you give up everything that reminds you of her and avoid traditions that you had with her
     
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