Saying goodbye

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by JStorry, Sep 21, 2018.

  1. JStorry

    JStorry Senior Member

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    Tonight is my last night with my Bea. Vet will be here in the morning to euthanize her. The hole is dug. Fresh batch of tears after seeing that. It is right outside my kitchen window. Thank God for good neighbours. She's only 18. But she's so crippled up, and I just can't stand to see her in pain any longer. I would rather do it too early than too late, but I really feel like its the right time. She's happy, and what some would call pasture sound, with legend every 6 weeks and previcox every day. Winters are the worst for her, and I won't make her do another. God I love this horse. She is a once in a lifetime horse for me. I got to ride her for a year before she got went lame again. I don't think anything could beat the feel of her locked on a cow. Still can't believe I never fell off. She's incredible. When I bought her she didn't know what affection was. I would go out to pet her and she would look at me wondering what I wanted. She quickly learned to enjoy it, in a very understated manner. Never pushy, just quiet and kind. We have this little thing where when I go up to her she offers me her face, low. I bend and kiss her face between the eyes. Sometimes we just rest our heads together and stand there. She's also an incredible mama, and she loves being one.its the o my thing I've ever seen her enjoy more than working a cow. She's so protective she borders on overprotective, yet she doesn't interfere when I have to handle her foals. She only had 6. Two of them are mine, and one of those is her only filly. Tomorrow is also weaning day, I'm hoping Legs takes it better than I do. I'm a wreck. Sitting on a bale of hay in the barn listening to her munch hay at 2am and bawling my eyes out. I had to get that out. If you have any kind thoughts to spare please send them my way.
     
  2. hayburnerheights

    hayburnerheights Senior Member

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    Sorry to hear, it does sound like the right time, they shouldn't live in constant pain. She will be in a better place, no pain, chasing cows on her whim. Good memories will last a long time .
    I had to put my heart horse down many years ago, vet determined her liver was failing. I still think about her 20 yrs later.
     
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  3. Bakkir

    Bakkir Senior Member

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    So sorry you have to do this. Sounds like she has given her all in life. My thoughts are with you.
     
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  4. bobo and horses

    bobo and horses Senior Member

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    Nothing can prepare you for the loss, except knowing you are doing the right thing. A little piece of your heart will be buried with your sweet horse.

    I’m sorry, and feel sad for you. No words that can miraculously make you feel better, just that we are all thinking of you and shedding tears with you.

    Be brave, and know you are doing this because you love her.
     
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  5. Jim_in_PA

    Jim_in_PA Senior Moderator Staff Member

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    I wish you peace and know that the wonderful memories will sustain you.
     
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  6. manesntails

    manesntails Senior Member

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    So sorry. It's so hard to do but you are wise enough to know when the right time is and are putting her comfort first. Jingling for you.
     
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  7. endurgirl

    endurgirl Senior Member

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    Sorry to hear this. I was close to tearing up reading it. Hopefully Legs will handle this well. :loveflag:
     
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  8. ginster

    ginster Senior Member

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    I was dreading this thread, tbh.
    I am so sorry that you don't have more time with her. I hope her two foals will soften your loss somewhat.
    You are doing right by her, letting her go now when she's at the best she can be.
    Give her a cuddle and a kiss from me. I'll keep you in my thoughts...
     
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  9. OldGreyMare

    OldGreyMare Senior Member

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    I am so sorry you have to go through this...I know the pain...the tears....there with you in spirit. You ARE doing the right thing and the most selfless act of kindness is knowing when, and letting go...of our beloved horses. Some of us are crying right there with you, I being one of them.
     
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  10. Arem

    Arem Senior Member

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    **hugs**
     
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