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Kicking a boarder out? :/

Discussion in 'Horse Chat' started by Caoimhe, Jan 7, 2017.

  1. Caoimhe

    Caoimhe Senior Member

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    Okay so I know I'm a complete pushover and am doing everything I can to change that.

    I am struggling with my boarder. A couple of years ago I allowed her to start boarding at my barn due to the fact that she seemed nice and needed a place that would give her a deal and let her work off some of her board. But since then she has given me so many headaches over the years that have started becoming much worse during the past few months.

    She demands that her horse gets turnout alone without my mare (they're best buddies but she doesn't like when her horse has to share hay), I started weighing what she puts out for her mare compared to the other horses at dinner and was shocked at how much she was feeding her horse (the mare was wasting a lot which made me suspicious), her horse is constantly lame and obese (no matter how much I suggest a vet she is convinced the lameness is due to how "muscle bound" she is), it was also agreed that she was to clean once a week and that has not been happening (there are always excuses).

    I'm not even going to go into the parts where she nearly killed my entire flock of chickens because she LOCKED them out of their coop in subzero temps and I found them nearly frozen to death in the morning. (She believed they were being lazy and needed to exercise, no apologies either)

    The ONLY reason I have kept this boarder is because I feel for her horse and have grown to love her like one of my own. I obviously need to get over it.

    It's a delicate situation, the horse community up here is itty bitty and I don't want to throw her out in the dead of winter but I also am in the negatives with her as a boarder (her board doesn't come close to covering her hay). I'm a bleeding heart but the way she treats myself and my animals is now unacceptable.

    How would you go about getting rid of her?

    I already know she is going to be extremely emotional and upset over it, so I'm trying to figure out the right words and how to bring it up.

    I'm sorry if my post is poorly written and scatterbrained, I just have so much anxiety over this. I hate that it's become this bad and am slowly starting to avoid the barn which is unacceptable to me, I don't want my animals to suffer because I'm worried about who I run into there.

    I am all for someone yelling at me and lighting a fire under my hiney hahaha, I have a backbone at work but for some reason when it comes to this situation it's so much more difficult. *sigh*
     
  2. RG NIGHT HEIR

    RG NIGHT HEIR Full Member

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    Well,it starts with a conversation,about your worries.You have been paying for more hay over the last year, so ta lk about increasing board, because you also have responsibilities,bills to pay and things are not ending up as they used to.
    You will get the " I can't afford".....Make up a written contract about your boarder`s " work off dollar amount." with the things she needs to do.
    Follow thru and check if she meets her responsibilities.If not start with a verbal reminder,then written etc you get my point?
    That way no one can say anything bad about you except for being fair.
    Every ranch owner
    has one of those boarders.
    As for her" getting very emotional and upset" is purely blackmailing you.She gets away with being the victim .Let's turn this about you and your worries for privacy,finances and your own animals and less about her.Try to communicate that to her.If it's difficult in person write an email,nothing wrong with that.
    Good luck
     
    Breezah, Varisha, kodemiester and 5 others like this.
  3. Alsosusieq2

    Alsosusieq2 Senior Member

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    That's really good advice as it covers you as far as being upfront with her and is straightforward. Don't let her do this to you emotionally, just roll it off your back. She has taken liberties she had no right to. Inform her to not mess with peripherals - chickens etc, anything. Let her know in writing that if she fails to fulfill her obligations she'll have to find someplace else.
     
  4. Alsosusieq2

    Alsosusieq2 Senior Member

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    ^^ left a previous post. I'm sorry about this, it sucks. She's taken advantage and used your kindness - that's a huge shame on her. Grrr.
     
  5. Caoimhe

    Caoimhe Senior Member

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    I guess I should have mentioned I have informed her of things she needs to do/can't do many many times. :/

    I feel as if I've been sucked into her sob stories and it's difficult to get out of, It's definitely not healthy!
     
  6. Alsosusieq2

    Alsosusieq2 Senior Member

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    Well screw this then. Put your demands in writing. If she doesn't meet them kick her out. You're probably sick of her but..she ain't gonna straighten up, or only for a brief time. She'll be gone before you know it when you follow through.;)

    Years of this has worn you down. Just tense your jaw and deal with her - think of her in a different light and your role and be stern. Like a mom, or tough granny or cop. Don't let her pull her stuff. If she starts, spin around and walk away - she'll get it.

    Edited added - it's real important you spin immediately and walk away - don't listen after three seconds into it. To none of it ever.
     
    SaddleUp158 likes this.
  7. paval

    paval Senior Member

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    I'd start by telling her what "your" needs are.
    1.) You need to at least cover the cost of hay fed if she is to continue boarding with you.
    2.) You need someone you can rely on to do cleaning chores at least one day a week.
    3.) You need to be able to count on the boarding fee being paid on time.

    Sounds like you are doing her a favor by letting her board with you... where the heck does she get off making demands?? If you want your horse to have a buddy during turnout, and you know the two horses get along... tell her that's the way it's going to be. If she doesn't like it, she knows where the door is.

    Tell her you've re-evaluated the situation, and the above are the conditions that have to be met if things are to continue. Ask her if it's going to be a problem. If she starts complaining or making excuses saying she doesn't know if she can, tell her you're happy you were able to be of help to her for as long as you have and she's welcome to finish out 30 days with you while she looks for a new place. Stand your ground. I would bet money she'll straighten up for about 2 weeks then fall back into her old ways, so be prepared to tell her it's just no longer working out for you as it's become a drain on you.

    ETA. You must have posted while I was typing. Saw you wrote that you have told her how things need to be. Time for her to go.
     
  8. Faster Horses

    Faster Horses Senior Member

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    Calculate what her board would be without the help and the addition of the extra hay. Add another fifty bucks.

    Let her know the new pricing that will be in effect in 30 days.

    Bet she will leave herself. ;)
     
    Arem, Varisha, kodemiester and 4 others like this.
  9. manesntails

    manesntails Senior Member

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    Me? I would tell her it is my barn, she refuses to follow my rules, doesn't respect me or my animals, so: " get looking for a place to move." No conversation. You've got your mind made up. Then walk away, turn and say: "you have thirty days."
    Yeah, When I'm as fed up as you sound, I get cold.
     
  10. Alsosusieq2

    Alsosusieq2 Senior Member

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    Yup. She's learned she can walk all over you. You've been too nice and she's rubbed her hands together thinking I can do as I please..annnddd..get this - tell the owner what to do-!!

    Stop being nice. She is a flippin user.
     

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