In need of some serious life advice...

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by QHriderKE, Jan 14, 2019.

  1. QHriderKE

    QHriderKE Senior Member

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    I'm at a huge crossroads.
    I've been working nearly a year and at good job (good as in I really enjoy the work) but things with management and the economy gave gone down the gutter. Management seems to be fighting nearly constantly, and lay offs are already happening. On top of that, I was never offered a raise after my probation and even though my contract was up for review and renewal this month, not a single person has said anything to me about it. I take home $2500/month and am paying rent, utilities, everything.

    Now I have been together with a guy who is an absolute dream... it's not even worth going on and on about it because it's just that good with him. Family changes have him the opportunity to move home and run the ranch, and get paid well to do so.

    I am faced with the opportunity to leave this job that isn't really doing much for me other than looking good on my resume and move in with him - where I would live virtually expense free and be paid for helping with the work there. I could have all of the horses I had wanted - Make some money on the side from them probably, and work doing all of the things I really enjoy doing.

    Is this actually a no-brainer?

    Help!
     
  2. Puddincup

    Puddincup Senior Member

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    It would absolutely be a no-brainer for me if this guy was “the one”.

    But there are going to be some things you give up, like your independence for one.

    Also would working on his ranch mean you would be working with his family? This is something that can totally be done, but usually needs a fair amount of work on both sides. I’d caution diving head first into a family I didn’t know well.

    Maybe have a small part time job outside of all of this just to have your own thing?
     
  3. QHriderKE

    QHriderKE Senior Member

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    The thing I struggle with most is not having an income of my own. However I would have time to buy and sell a few horses for extra monies.

    As for working with family - his mom lives in a different house on the place but no one else really has a whole lot to do with it so that's no issue at all.
     
  4. bobo and horses

    bobo and horses Senior Member

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    You must have some money of your own. Get a part time job plus do what it is on the farm. Nothing is more demeaning than having to ask for money from someone. Also, importantly, you will be rather isolated and not have a lot of contact with other people, except your partner and his family.

    Keep some level of independence. I’m not trying to poo poo this idea, but please think it through carefully.
     
  5. Alsosusieq2

    Alsosusieq2 Senior Member

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    Boy, idk. I can't make a judgement call like this for you, or give you a yay or nay. I will say.. don't put yourself in a spot where you're completely dependent on someone unless you're married, and even then, don't.

    I think you've already decided personally, but I'll tell you, unless he asks you to marry him, he's asking a lot of you.

    Think about what I'm saying. This is a no joke, seriously life altering situation. If it went sideways, what would you do? Believe me, it happens.
     
  6. Lopinslow

    Lopinslow Senior Member

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    Keep in mind the price of health insurance as well.
     
    paval, ginster and bobo and horses like this.
  7. heartland

    heartland Senior Member

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    I think the OP is in Canada so she doesn’t need to worry about that the same way Americans do.
     
    hamerface and QHriderKE like this.
  8. AprilBride2012

    AprilBride2012 Senior Member

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    My Mom got a piece of advice in drivers ed 50 years ago that I think applies perfectly here.

    “Always leave yourself an out. Never get trapped in completely, always make sure you have a place to go in case something gets hairy.”

    If you do this, do not get trapped. Make sure you have a way out. A cushy savings account that only you have access to, a truck, a trailer, and a real life support system that will come to help you if you need it. This could be a dream, but it could also be a nightmare. Stay safe and stay honest with yourself and your situation.
     
    Binca, peg4x4, Dream27 and 5 others like this.
  9. MysticRealm

    MysticRealm Senior Member

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    Are you in alberta? the economy is in the TANK here.
    I agree with making sure you have your own money. If I know anything it's that relationships end, even with 'the one'. My mom helps run a 'divorce care' group and the amount of women left with nothing and no ability to get a job since they haven't worked in 25 years and should be retiring in another 5-10 is amazing. (who wants to hire a 60 year old with no recent work experience that is near retirement age?)
     
  10. QHriderKE

    QHriderKE Senior Member

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    You are right!
    Another thing is that we've been living together for nearly 6 months now, and moved out of a basement suite into a main floor, which is $1100/month not including any utilities, I obviously cannot in any way afford this place on my own so will have to be moving asap anoyways. With work being in the crapper with no signs of any improvement or even a raise.... even dumping this job to live somewhere nearly expense free while I find something else doesn't seem so bad. I am able to do my work anywhere with a good internet connection.

    And yes - I'm in Alberta, working in an oilfield reliant job. Things are scary.

    I have my own truck and trailer, have a good education, a fair bit of savings and always a way out.
     
    Arem and heartland like this.

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