I read my ex's blog.

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Dona Worry, May 12, 2017.

  1. Dona Worry

    Dona Worry Senior Member

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    And it was the most surreal experience.

    We were together for three years and a bit. I both started and ended it. We broke up two years ago, and I haven't talked to him or seen him since.
    A mutual friend shared his blog post on Facebook, so I got curious. I know, bad Dona, but I went ahead and started reading it.
    It was . . . Strange. So strange. And the further I read, the weirder it got.
    Since we broke up, he has a) lived in his parents house b) been single, hasn't even asked anyone out c) blamed me for everything and d) rewritten the entire history of our relationship, down to the last detail.
    He had an entire post about how it disgusted him that I slathered everything in ketchup before I ate it, wrote in detail about watching me eat scrambled eggs covered in the stuff and how it made him quite eating, but he never said anything because he is soooo nice.
    But that is not how I eat eggs. Not how I eat ANYTHING. I put a small pile of ketchup on my plate, and dip small bites in. And I almost never eat eggs with ketchup in the first place so. . ? What? What???
    He complained about how I never wanted him anywhere near the farm, speculated I was having an affair (with whom, exactly, he does not specify) because of it. I actually told my parents about this one because it was a well established FACT that I always, ALWAYS told him when I was doing a project he could tag along on, or even help out with.
    He did this exactly three times, and each time complained non stop and went home before me.
    But now he is saying that my reluctance to have him on the farm prevented him from living his dream of working with the soil, and the sole reason he is still stuck in a crappy job he hates.

    He also blames me for the overwhelming lack of sex in the relationship even though I would sleep naked and often got handsy. Nevermind he would flop over onto his stomach and pretend to be asleep, 'it is the woman's job to be in charge of that sort of thing'. Oh, and I 'constantly rejected him'.
    I seriously do not remember a single case of me rejecting him. He initiated so rarely that it was like Christmas and I always made a huge deal about how great it was.

    There is more. So, so much more.
    But I mean, were we even in the same relationship? How do we remember things so very differently?
     
  2. RelaxMax

    RelaxMax Senior Member

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    Ha! Hes just playing the poor, hurt ex boyfriend. Too good. I think that's funny.

    Btw, ketchup on eggs is the best. He clearly doesn't know what's up.
     
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  3. Dona Worry

    Dona Worry Senior Member

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    It was just so strange! Like, dude, it has been TWO YEARS. Move the ef on already.
    Oh, and he is mad I got a dog because he apparently wanted us to get one when we were together but I 'just smiled and didn't follow up' so HE WAS CRUSHED AMD NEVER BROUGHT IT UP AGAIN. And now I have a dog, so I clearly didn't let him get one just to make him miserable.

    I have zero memory of any dog discussion, but I know exactly how it would have gone:
    "Hrmmmm"
    "What's on your mind?"
    "Nothing, nothing."
    "K. You sure? That is your thinking sound."
    "Oh...just thinking it might be nice to have a dog sometime. Or think about it at least. I don't know, just thinking about a dog I saw the other day."
    "Yeah, dogs are great. I would have a dog."
     
  4. AprilBride2012

    AprilBride2012 Senior Member

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    Just remember....
    [​IMG]

    and.... this link.
    The Narcissist's Child: Narcissists are Delusional

    I love this quote from it:
    "Narcissists are very good at projection. They are good at rewriting history to suit their ends. They are masters of taking a grain or two of truth and cooking up a huge messy pot of lies. And they are positively brilliant at making themselves believe it all, even to the point of trying to destroy those who would drag them kicking and screaming into reality."
     
  5. ginster

    ginster Senior Member

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    @Dona Worry - he is obviously still not over this relationship. Probably dealing with some other problems as well (maybe out of a job? People don't usually live with their parents without good reasons) and projecting all his hurt on you. Of course it is all your fault...you are obviously just a big meanie out to emasculate poor, helpless men.
    I can understand that this is puzzling or disturbing but reall, he is not worth one more second of your time.
     
  6. secuono

    secuono Senior Member

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    Sounds like you made the right choice by dropping him.
     
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  7. BluemoonOKy

    BluemoonOKy Senior Member

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    Ahck, good riddance. Victims aren't attractive. Neither are lazy men living with their parents.
     
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  8. Dona Worry

    Dona Worry Senior Member

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    He lacks initiative.
    "What does that even mean? It sounds like an excuse, not a reason to end a three year relationship."
    It means, buddy, that you never did anything other than complain and go through the motions.
    He has a job. He has hated it, complained about it, and said he is going to apply places and get a new one ANY DAY NOW, for six years and counting. He is going to start writing a book any day now too. He is only living with his parents until he finds a new place, which he will do soon. I mean, as soon he feels like it.
    It is odd. He is not lazy. Was great with fix it projects, keeping up with yardwork and helping out in the house. Even now, he is still active--goes to the gym, kayaks, draws, etc.
    But his life is going nowhere.
     
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  9. bellalou

    bellalou Senior Member

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    Memory is a strange thing. Two people can experience the exact same thing but remember it completely differently. I notice that when I get together with old friends and we talk about the past. They will insist something happened one way that I KNOW happened another. Who's right? Maybe both of us. Because so much of memory is perception and point of view.

    He may be exaggerating and embellishing for effect or he may honestly believe that's how things were. Either way it's pretty sad that he's still obsessing on a failed relationship.
     
  10. Dona Worry

    Dona Worry Senior Member

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    Pretty much. I don't really know what I expected. I guess to find he had found someone new, or had at least gotten his own apartment, maybe even a new job.
    Nope.
    Makes me feel both sad and a little guilty. Sure, out relationship was going nowhere, but at least he was cheerful and happy then. Now he is just bitter. They say people don't change, but he has, and not for the better.
     

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