Post your own! They don't have to be just silly things your dad says/used to say--any family member or close friend (or even sworn enemies! ) are fine. My dad has a bunch. He is well known for abusing the phrase "It will only take a few minutes." when it is a TOTAL LIE. No. Moving 48 heifer through six gates and down into an entirely new meadow will NEVER take 'a few minutes '. LIES. And then. There is the famous 'Dad voicemail'. "DONA. *long pause* IT'S DAD. *loooong pause* UM. I WAS HOPING TO TALK WITH YOU. *an eternity passes. Planets are formed and crumble to dust* SO YEAH I guess you can just call back later okay bye" What. JUST WHAT. That is three minutes (and it is ALWAYS three minutes. Just to say that.) of my life I will never get back. I have explained several times about how that voicemail literally gives me no more information than the 'missed call from dad' notification, but he just doesn't get it. So, the dad voicemail. My youngest niece is. . . Different. She is three, has an obsession with bad guys, and likes to pretend to eat people. This Christmas, my mom got her this gorgeous wooden toy car, about the size of a shoe box, with a nice little family of four to ride in it. She loved it! She started playing with it on the couch, and singing a cute song. "Driving driving driving, going on vacation, driving driving driving INTO THE LAVAAAA!" *car takes a nosedive into red tissue paper. "I thought you said he was a bad guy?!" "Well, he is kinda mean, isn't he?" "BAD GUYS DON'T HAVE TEA PARTIES WITH PONIES! I WANT TO WATCH A DIFFERENT ONE WITH NO TEA PARTIES!" And there is of course my grandmother, and her question of "Dona sweetheart, how is your dear sweet little pony? And her fine little colt too?" Everyone thinks I have shetlaND ponies now lol, but I love it. It makes me happy every time! Add your own! I know I am not the only person with whacky people in my life!