Chirstmas Rant

Discussion in 'Horse Chat' started by Touch the Sky, Nov 18, 2017.

  1. Touch the Sky

    Touch the Sky Senior Member

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    Ranting...
    Stressing over bills right now, and my family is definitely not helping. For Christmas, we do a secret Santa type gift exchange, and we were all talking about the price limit. I expressed the fact that my budget is pretty tight right now, and I wouldn't be able to allot more than $40 or so per gift (so around $80 total, since i have to buy a gift for one person on each side of the family)
    Then one of my extended family members got ****ed because they said i was trying to cheap out on gifts, when "They knew i had the money, i just don't want to spend it on anything other than my stupid animal".
    I have the chiropractor, the dentist and the farrier all coming out in a week and a half span, exactly two weeks before Christmas.
    And i have been saving for MONTHS to make it happen. It just happened to all fall in line now.
    My horse has earned it, and desperately needs it. I am so sick of my extended family putting down everything i do for myself and my horse. It just makes me so angry.
    I am 19 years old, working TWO jobs. I pay my own bills (my insurance, my phone etc) AND i help my parents out with everything i can (I still live at home) be it groceries, gas money, buying the dog food for the month whatever it is they need. Hell, a couple of times, I've even helped pay utilities when business has been super slow for my dad. I don't mind at all.
    The extended family thats complaining about the money? Have cushy jobs. Their kids get extra spending money while they are at college, they don't have to worry about paying bills, they don't know how to handle money AT ALL.
    But I'm the irresponsible one because i cant drop $120 on a gift. It ****es me off. Here i am working 10 to 12 hour days to make ends meet, Im trying to do whats best for me AND for Annie, I'm starting the process for getting my IRD certification AND attempting to save up for a car, and this is what i get to deal with.
    PLUS, i have to go to the doctor to renew my anxiety and depression medication, and START a sleeping medication because my insomnia has been HORRIBLE for the past several weeks. So it just feels like my whole life is crumbling at the edges, and even though i KNOW i can make it through this, it is so disheartening to be treated like that. I'm doing the best i can, why can't that just be good enough?
     
  2. PyroTekNik333

    PyroTekNik333 Senior Member

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    Just agree to whatever limit they want and stick to your own budget.
    Its a max price right? And who would know anyway?

    Id be sorely tempted to get the complainer a lump of coal. I have family I just don't bother buying for anymore.
    I love buying gifts and taking the time to come up with something thoughtful. Rude and ungrateful people suck the fun out of it and are promptly removed from my list.
     
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  3. phantomhorse13

    phantomhorse13 Full Member

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    Tell the complainer that you opt out of Secret Santa completely then. The holiday season is not supposed to be a contest about who can spend the most on gifts. So if that person can't appreciate what you can reasonably do, then why should you bother with a gift at all?

    What do your parents say about the situation? Living at home, that does add an extra element to needing to keep the peace with the extended family.
     
  4. gaitedboomer

    gaitedboomer Senior Member

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    I would kick the lump of coal up another notch:

    How about one nicely rounded road Apple, frost it with real frosting, and wrap it in a nice horsey gift box:)

    My cousin did that a zillion years ago, when we were in high school. She caught the janitor at her school peeping on the girls when they changed clothes for gym class. The frosting road Apple was actually her mom's idea, lollollol
     
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  5. Mirage

    Mirage Senior Member

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    Makes me glad I don't celebrate the holidays.
    Just order something off of Amazon. Most of the things that cost a zillion dollars in stores are cheap on Amazon.
     
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  6. Dona Worry

    Dona Worry Senior Member

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    I would opt out of gift giving entirely at this point. I cannot believe that people like that actually exist.
    This year, everyone is getting a handmade hat. Made by me. From a bag of yarn I got cheap at a yard sale. The end.
    And you know what? They will all be gracious and grateful, and will probably wear them.
    Your family needs a serious reality check on the meaning of Christmas.
     
  7. Touch the Sky

    Touch the Sky Senior Member

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    My immediate family is amazing. We really don't do 'gifts'. I never ask for much anyway. My mom and dad try to buy us all something, and we have a bit of a tradition passed down from my great grandfather. He always used to say 'three gifts was enough for jesus, it will do for you'
    So every year, we get two small practical gifts, and one small just for fun gift.
    Last year, I got new gloves, a pair of jeans, and a little Bluetooth speaker to take to the barn with me. I loved it! My family has never been big on the gift getting. For us, it's about being together. It's about the little traditions.
    Like, Christmas morning. We all get matching pjs, and we wear them for breakfast, and me and my mom go all out and make a big extravagant brunch, and we drink sparkling grape juice and sit around as a family and talk. And then later in the day, we all drink hot cocoa and eat popcorn and watch the grinch. I'd rather have that over extravagant gifts any day.
    I don't understand how so many people can just completely lose sight of what it's supposed to be about
     
  8. Binca

    Binca Senior Member

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    I'm sorry your family is like this - it does make it tough! My side of the family is a bit weird. My uncle always hosts Christmas. We have quite a small family, but his wife has a fair few family members. So naturally every year he hosts Christmas for both sides. Which is fine. Except for a long time every was expected to buy something for everyone. There was no budget, but everyone had to buy everyone a present. A few of us kept complaining about it every year and so I think it was uncle's wife had a dummy spit and now presents are pretty much banned because "it's not fair if some people get more than others". Which means we just give close family members pressies in secret. :rofl: It's still otherwise a nice day with family, but the gift giving thing is weird.

    Husband's side is easy. We get together, have fun. We love buying pressies when we have money. So it depends how everyone is going financially as to how many pressies everyone gets. It isn't the important bit. But it's fun when we can. This year I think everyone is a bit broke, so I imagine presents will be limited. Which is fine. We will probably just send each other silly joke stuff. We are probably doing a DIY calendar for the brother in law. With his friends doing stupid poses, a photo of the engine bay of my car (because he has worked on it a few times and hates it!), and other silly photos.
     
  9. ginster

    ginster Senior Member

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    Yeah, I'd be out .
    Christmas is not supposed to be a contest. That is not what it is about.
     
  10. Alsosusieq2

    Alsosusieq2 Senior Member

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    Ditto.

    Almost thirty plus years ago my family stopped the gifting. I come from a large family, five brothers and sisters and it was just too much. When I had my daughter my husband was super into gifts. It become excessive IMO. I know we spent well over a grand just on basic gifts, then popped for last minute ones. One Christmas it was almost nauseating, there were probably thirty gifts under the tree. When we divorced my life became a lot less stressful and shallow. I refuse to get into gifts anymore. My husband buys me a gift every year and I say thank you..and his gift from me is making him his favorite dessert, a cheesecake.

    I'm sorry. I don't know what I'd do but ignore them. Just say "this is what I can afford" and I'd say probably next year I'm not doing this anymore, it's just making me feel bad and it's not what Christmas is about.

    @Touch the Sky I think those pj's are adorable.. that's the kind of Christmas I would like too. Sounds Wonderful-!!
     

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