Benefit of the doubt? *criticism*

Discussion in 'Horse Chat' started by Heavenly Jumper, Nov 21, 2010.

  1. Heavenly Jumper

    Heavenly Jumper Senior Moderator Staff Member

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    [Edit by Mods: This thread is a good read and is going to be stuck for a while. Remember that when you reply to any thread you become a part of the problem or a part of the solution.]


    This is just something I've noticed recently. I see some people getting bent out of shape over a horse or herd's care and I think we forget a couple of things.

    • Sometimes the member is NOT the owner.
    • Sometimes the member is a minor, and can't make vet choices or feed choices or even tack choices.
    • Maybe that member was literally raised in a different way of thinking that we were.
    • Maybe the member lives in a region where whatever offends is normal.
    • We were 'new' to the forum once too. If they get run off, we can't help them, or the horse.
    • The amount of cumulative experience/knowledge here is overwhelming. One thing at a time.

    I guess I am jaded or naive but the internet is still real people to me. I always think of how I would feel? I get hurt for them. We are all here because of ONE THING. We enjoy horses. It is what binds us. Remember that too. Nobody is here because they like starving their horse or using poor fitting tack that hurts.

    Most mistakes are ignorance, plain and simple. It's up to us, US, to help where we can. :)
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 21, 2010
  2. Quiggles

    Quiggles Senior Member

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    Being Australian I see this much more than other members. Some things that are considered normal to North Americans can seem very strange to me and others not from that country.

    Its seems like people are so quick to jump on other people, I do remember a time (long ago) when things wern't quite so bad here.

    I try to sick with "If you cant say anything nice dont say anything at all" and I'd like to remind some people that "You catch more flies with honey than vinegar" .
     
  3. Maisie

    Maisie Senior Member+

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    HJ good post agree 100% ...
    Quiggles ... I like "you catch more flies with honey than vinegar"
     
  4. Windica

    Windica Senior Member

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    Great topic and posts. In my neck of the woods, I've always kinda been the 'weirdo' gal regarding my approach to horses and their care. The normal practices around here have always been a bit extreme in the other direction. Consequently, I grew up with a little bit of everything as the local common sense and what I read and learned from either reading or folks that moved here from another part of the world. I never know if what I think I know is the certified correct thinking or the opposite. That's one reason I absolutely love having found HGS and the wide range of experience to draw from. I can ask for opinions or read a thread that poses a question I also am curious on and educate myself. I can also reject suggestions/opinions if they simply do not mesh well with my personal philosophy. Now if 9 out of 10 folks say one way is the better way, it's time for me to consider they might be right!

    As for not agreeing with someone else's practices/beliefs, I don't think anything positive is accomplished for the horses to chastise the owner in a harsh manner. I know I'd be much more likely to consider and accept suggestions if they were made in a generous manner rather than a berating one.
     
  5. feealicious

    feealicious Senior Member+

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    You are so awesome!! Thanks for making this post I agree with everything you said! Sometiems I just don't get this forum. I feel like literally everything I do is wrong and everything I say someone always has to attack. Although I still always come back for more. I just love reading what everyone has to say and the advice given here by respectful members out weighs the bad for me.
     
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  6. merlin

    merlin Senior Member

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    Thank you for posting this thread. As sad as it is, I don't post much anymore, because I'm afraid to get flamed. I feel bad for some of the members. I was reading some of Mrs Preggers posts, and I felt terrible for her. Everyone was jumping on a 13 year old. I hate to use a member as an example, but its true. Everyone calling her a troll, and being so rude. These are people that I had some respect for, but lost it when I read their posts towards this member.

    People need to remember we al have feelings too. Just because we hide behind a name, does not mean we don't have feelings.

    Some of the things that are said to these members, are so mean, I can just imagine how these members feel. I feel like crying myself.

    Enough of my rambling, and I'm sorry for using a certain new member as an example.

    *zips up flame suit, and puts on bullet proof vest.*

    Thanks for posting this thread HJ.
     
  7. mozart

    mozart Banned

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    Sometimes the member is NOT the owner.

    Then there is clarification, and no harm is done.

    Sometimes the member is a minor, and can't make vet choices or feed choices or even tack choices.

    Very rarely does a minor have absolutely no control or input over horse care choices, unless the parents/trainers are totalitarian dictators. No, they can't exercise the same good autonomy as an adult, but they can certainly excercise good judgment, attempt appeals to reason, and in the worst case refuse to ride a horse if doing so would be cruel (awful tack, lame horse, etc.). Being a kid really isn't an excuse, especially since you have to be 13 to join. That age is definitely not too young to seek to learn, act mature, or made good, informed, responsible choices and decisions.

    Maybe that member was literally raised in a different way of thinking that we were.

    Maybe. But horse abuse/neglect is still horse abuse/neglect.

    Maybe the member lives in a region where whatever offends is normal.

    Maybe. But horse abuse/neglect is still horse abuse/neglect.


    We were 'new' to the forum once too. If they get run off, we can't help them, or the horse.

    You don't have to be downright nasty about it, but blunt and honest is good. Nobody's going to listen at all if you don't make a very convincing point, and sometimes scaring them into shape is the only thing that works.
     
  8. Shikoika

    Shikoika Senior Member+

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    motzart,

    I dont think anyone is talking about accepting abuse and neglect. I believe she is talking about threads like mrs.preggers'. Simple ignorance that is in no way neglect or abuse to the animal, just a girl being put in danger because her parents bought her the wrong horses and now leave her with the responisibility.

    Threads like that one are all too common, and responses that are downright nsaty and mean instead of encouraging gently to go int he right direction is also far too common.

    As I said in one f my ther posts, being honest is ok, matter of fact, is ok- being nasty while doing it is NOT. While in SOME cases scaing them is the only way to get through to them, in mostcases it will just make the flamed member put up walls to protect themselves and wont take anything in... and then what does that chieve? Nadda.
    Shoot, anything that might be taken as even slight reason for someone to find a way to flame me is often why I dont post anything but in horse chat practically at all anymore, because I swear people are looking for a fight nowadays.

    Is it because the rest of the world sucks right now or what? So they have tot ake it out on others that cant really fight back because theya re on theinternet? Yeesh.

    HJ, wonderful post.
     
  9. phoebeq

    phoebeq Senior Member+

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    I agree 100%. This is a pet peeve of mine. People jump to conclusions and immediately start bashing the poster for things that aren't necessarily their fault.
     
  10. mozart

    mozart Banned

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    Well, maybe I've missed it, but I've yet to see anything that remotely resembles "flaming" on this board. I have, however, seen a lot of posters that rather closely resemble trolls....
     
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