Being in a relationship with someone who is more religious than you....?

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by EmazingCasper, Apr 12, 2009.

  1. EmazingCasper

    EmazingCasper Senior Member+

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    Ok, well I'm not in a relationship with anyone (obviously), but I was wondering what your guys' opinions were on this....

    This guy I met, well, he is really amazing, but I told him there is no WAY i'm rushing into things, since I just broke up with that jerk only like 2 weeks back now. Funny thing is I have known him since 1st grade, but anyways, that is a different story. The whole deal is that if something later down the road was to come out of it, he is pretty strong Christian. Now, don't get me wrong, I believe in God, and consider myself a Christian, however I haven't been to Chruch since I can't even remember when (because I believe I don't need to, to show God my love for him), and I really have never read the bible (bits and pieces maybe), which is awful. It isn't something I really openingly admit most of the time. :blushing: He reads the bible almost every night, he is always saying lines from the bible, and goes to a bible study and church every week. Now that does NOT bother me at all, I like guys who are religious, and aren't afraid to show their love for God. But I guess I get a little uncomfortable sometimes, because I feel like it would never work out because I'm not that religious. I'm not sure how to tell him either, I've been really open and honest about everything else, and I think he might have an idea that I'm not that religous, but i guess I should confront him about it? I wouldn't mind going to church sometimes, or reading the bible. I just always thought most people in a relationship shared the same views on religion most of the time.... or were on the same level, like if one person was really religious the other was too...
     
  2. SouthernJumper

    SouthernJumper Senior Member

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    Interesting topic! I'd like to see where this goes.

    As for me, I'm on the same wavelength with thinking that people that get married generally have the same religious views. I'd like to hear stories.
     
  3. Dancers Mom

    Dancers Mom Senior Member+

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    I am older, and with my first marriage I got totally into the Catholic Church because my then husband thought it would save him, long story but he was kicking a drug habit. It did not work. I threw myself into it because I wanted to support him and I thought it would help our marriage. It did not. I would never, ever join a religion for someone else. Not that you are thinking of doing that but it will come up in your relationship eventually. If he is as religious as you say it will be important to him that you worship the same way. Does that make sense?

    I am married again to a great man who also had done the same thing I had only for the wife, he almost went into the seminary for her!:eek: I am a Pagan now, really I always have been at heart. He is figuring out what he is but will never step foot in a church again. He has been tainted as have I. I will say make sure you are ready for this. My hubby new I was Pagan when he met me.
     
  4. EmazingCasper

    EmazingCasper Senior Member+

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    Yes it makes sense. We have the same religion, I just don't get as much into. Mostly because my family hasn't been that religious either, so I just never have been that way. I'm really confused as if it is going to effect things, or if he will just accepted the fact that I'm just not that religious, although I do share the same beliefs.
     
  5. Dancers Mom

    Dancers Mom Senior Member+

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    Like I said he is probably at some point going to want you to worship like he does. Right now it may not seem like a problem but my guess is in the future unless you are willing to go to church, bible study or whatever it will be an issue. Do it if you want but make sure it is what you want for yourself not him telling you he needs you to go to church for it to work.
     
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  6. EmazingCasper

    EmazingCasper Senior Member+

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    Right, I don't mind going to Church at all, or even taking my children to church later down the road. I don't know if I would go to bible study though. I don't like to talk about my religion a lot.
     
  7. HappyJoy

    HappyJoy Senior Member+

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    The Christian guys I know who are serious about it wouldn't date someone unless they had the same level of commitment to God as they did. I'm not saying this as a downer on you, I just mean that it goes beyond the title of the religion. This may not be true for this boy, but the guys I know would only date a girl if she were as into Christianity as they were.

    My guess is that if he is willing to date you knowing that you have different practices, then it probably won't effect the relationship too much.
     
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  8. EVOO

    EVOO Senior Member+

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    This is my experience as well. With both men and women who are committed to the same degrees as is this young man. Usually, around here, families participate in church functions together. The church purposely plans mens and womens small groups at the same time so couples can go to their groups at the same times, etc. In my experience with a women's small group where most of the women were married and/or dating it was an important part of all of their lives for their husbands/boyfriends to share their faith to the same degree and to worship in that same way. My husband has shared with me similar opinions he gathered from the mens small groups he attended.

    I also do not mean in any way to offend you but for people who are devoted in this way it is much more than considering oneself a Christian. If you've not read the bible you don't even really know all that that entails, kwim? It's not something that you need to be ashamed of, but in a relationship it's something that needs to be addressed so you're both aware.
     
  9. rizzodm

    rizzodm Senior Member

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    The bible says to not be unequally yoked to someone. Alot of people believe this means don't marry a non-christian. But the Bible was written to christians so it would mean don't be unequally yoked with another christian. Me and my husband go to church together (I go more often)we both are involved in drama ministries (it is sooooo much fun). I love having my spouse with me at church and when we have the opportunity to minster together it is very rewarding. I have friends who desperatly want their spouses to be involved with them at church and it can cause friction in a relationship (especially after the warm fuzzies have passed).

    Dawn
     
  10. NotFadeAway

    NotFadeAway Senior Member+

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    I probably wouldnt...
    Pretty sure a religious person would'nt want to date me either.
     

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